amazingly i knocked off from work at 1130. rest at home for awhile. and decided to go to my cusin's solemnisation. was late as usual. so i didnt make my way down to Tanglin Halt. Called up my 3rd bro and got him to fetch me at wdlands and st8 to the bride's place at yishun. much nearer rite. we reached bout 10-20minsafta the whole troop did. being us, we sneakily went looking for my mom and wen we finally saw her. we walked away and find our own fun. wasnt concentratin on the whole stuffs,despite it was my dad being the Groom's main representative. I snapped few pics of the bride then the groom and then my bro made me take a pic of him. haha. here it is.
irritatin brother EVA
my cusin said twice. 1st was interrupted by my uncle's hp ringtone. damn. i took a vid of my cus. damn. he panicked. like totally. bt second time ws kewl. Amin.Syukur. we headed back to Tanglin Halt. I didnt wanna take the bus so once again I made my bro drove to our old place. nutin much has change though bt the feeling was surreal.environment, atmosphere... haiz. i was HOME. for once. i did feel homely. i did. i sure did.
went up to the 10th storey where my uncle live.. and i saw some familiar faces. bt i did nt pull a courage to look into their eyes. i walked in to the rm and left the gifts on the bed and out i went.stood outside with 1st and 3rd bro, waited for dad and mom. apparently they did not went in at all. family politics. this has evolve for nearly 10 over years. i saw my cusins yet i just stood der minding my own business.i could feel the tension all over dad. and so i made my way off earlier den i would imagine. say my gdbyes to my parents and uncles. its been eons they saw me and for sure, all they could say was I've grown up. ofcoz i did. i mean. in 3 yrs how many times we get to see each other? sigh.
once again, i made bro send me to Jurong East Mrt station and frm there i made my way down to CCK for my gf's gf's solemnisation. she invited me to come on sunday, but i cant due to my own cusin's wedding.so i tot y not go on saturday rite and keep zulie company at the sametime. i love the pelamin. i reali do. and Selamat Pengatin baru Eni and Ady. Now they shuld be having fun in Bali .
8th July 07
i woke up kinda late due to the late nite on saturday. got up. washed up. ate and got ready head down to Tanglin again. mumsy and dad were late. so me and 2nd bro gotta be around incase, my relatives (mom's side)attend to the wedding. and thank god i was around. cusin farah came wid my aunt.passed the XS cd to be given to my other 2 cusin. 20mins afta they left, parents arrived by cab (all da way from Pasir Ris). That mite have cost alot.as usual my 3rd bro being the 'star' ok did i mentioned 1st bro would rather play soccer 1st den head down for wedding. haha. lucky DHL won. else buang masa aje go play soccer. i was bored damn bored.i felt so outta place bt as soon as 3rd bro and family came. i was all smily and hype. and as usual. he and his antics forever will irritate the whole out of me. bt i kinda need the humour and his merepekness. so i played along the whole day.
cusins' wifes are mostly pregnant again or their children have all grown cuter. too bad i did not take a pic of Puteri Naima. she's so adorable. Chatted wid her mom and dad(my cusin). still i culd see the invisible line drawn within the 2 clan.bt somehow i culd feel i was being watch most of the time. i looked up and saw her face. i didnt noe wad to do. i didnt reali smile bt i had this 'im sorry' look. i hope she understands. i hope they all do. bt i had to do someting to all tis. somehow. i felt bad.i saw him walking and chatting up wid the other cusins. i cant help it but we grew up together. we're at the same age. i did not dare to speak up to him on sat, therefore i make sure i will built up a courage to speak to him. and thank god for both being telepatic,he looked to my direction and i was looking at him too. i asked for his number coz i lost his previous one but i didnt noe wad else to do. i was busy fannin my lil niece while sis in law went to eat. as soon as she was done, we changed shift and i signal'd him to meet me somewer.we eloped to a place nt too far away frm the main place but one thing for sure, we were doing it discreetly. we exchanged numbers and had alil heart to heart talk bout wads happening; wad happened for the part 10yrs or so. i did apologise on my dad's behalf. though i knew dad wont be pleased if he finds out this. bt afterall, he is my cusin. bad or worst. he still is. they are all still my cusins too. we younger generation just tot it is ridiculous dat we are affected and dragged into this. bt im glad cusin salam my dad before he left. and im glad it was his mom who made him do it.
but how i wish.. someone please do come up to him and apologise. im nt sure who is wrng or right. bt i miss my childhood times. with my boy cusins. we don have many gerl cousins aniway. dad's side is populated wid MEN.
i told mom im in contact wid cusin and eventually cusin did tell his mom. and im glad she understands my situation. i respect her. i culd see the sadness in her eyes that moment i looked into hers. for now. im just contented im in contact wid cusin Reza. maybe i should gather them together for some coffee session.them, their other half be it wife, fiancee, gf, and maybe their children too. i wuld reali love to have my cousins on my big day. or beta for everything to end. 2 more years to go. can i do it? i donno. i tried before my engagement. and i somehow did nt build the courage to do it. well. im scared. scared to go over dad. im so nt gonna step on his tail.else i will pay the price. im so in dilemma now. -sigh-
on a brighter note, hubby's back frm KL last nite at 1am. yeahness.
0 comments:
Post a Comment