not so gorgeous me

me and maria aka matilda

I was in frenster site and read my dear matilda's entries. she posted this yesterday....
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Kikin had to pose fer the camera in many awkward ways. She had to place her fingers elegantly to her chin and smile at a certain angle and sorts. Thats pretty much something i can never do. To start with, i'm just camera shy and if i had to, i love making dumb faces. AND i'm usually happy with how the pic turns out. Heh...
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honestly. i had to do some elegant poses which i was quite comfortable in yet i still can remember the look of this girl's eyes. she was smiling away seeing me standing, posing, smiling for the camera. still it was tiring enuff. and it was only a suit of baju. wat if there's more den one?! gosh. i'll be dead beat smiling. posing. yadayada.

I've always have this tot that during 'pernikahan and persandingan', how i will look like. meaning. mind u. i perspire alot. walking to the front door just to put on my sneakers can make me perspire. so with outfits like traditionally, sanggul and thick make up will do more damage. for the people. pictures. video(if any).. plus i'm scared i mite look uglier.
So i was thinking the same thing when i was getting engage on 110606. like ultimately i badly need a full blasting fan or 18 degrees aircon temp under me. but thankfully. my dear 3rd brother. brought along his fan from home just to make it stand and blow air towards me. stil i was perspiring. tanks to my mak andam who wiped the sweat off my face. and its all done now. Wee!

pictures all up. and i'm at least proud to say i do look different. with makeup on coz i don apply powder, eyeshadow, lipstick, blusher, eyeliner, mascara dat much on normal days. just a simple person.who prefer natural makeup.natural look. simple outfit. i may look offbeat to the fashionistas out there. added to my 'you don look 23' phrase. younger girls will mostly stare at me. seriously. they do. coz i may look their age.yea. bla. they dress nicely and all. but y look at me when i'm not even a match for you ppl. stop staring at me and stare at ur own boobs mind u. strange but true how 'sembarang' i dress, these gerls will still look at me and some even do some bitching with their frens. y even bother looking at me den turn away as i look at u and ur whole dressing. pls. coz i'm not so up to da girlish dressing. besides i have the UGLIEST feet. NOT fair and flawless skin. hair is in a MESS. darkeye circle. puffy eyes. PLUS no sense of dressing. but then again. i think i do attract some attention. at werk at least.

ok this part maria will say this to me.. "ee kikin mentel ye.." rite girl? LOL.

come on. girls. admit it. every girls love attention. so i admit. i do like it. but not to the extend of flirting and all. yet i was known as the super arrogant malay girl 1yr ago at werk just becoz i don smile. i don smile if i donno u. and if u just know my name it doesnt make me know u. or even ur name. here i'm not referring to boys but girls too. yup. i was dat bad. but all that had stopped (depending on mood). i'm friendlier now to the girls and some of the boys who willing to talk to me and be frens. trust me. there are some who wanna noe just to get it down with u here. gosh. yucks.

lucky for me for being arrogant. some will be jealous enuff to ask some y i don speak to them but speak to da others. here i will say that it doesnt make ur goodlooks.ur pretty face for me to be fren u. at least i know u exist. and i noe ur name coz frens been bugging me telling me bout u. again. do i look like i care. dat u have da bestlook eva here at work. sori. coz u just got the wrong gerl. reali. which make u wanna noe me more. hah.still tanks to some frens here. mentioning to u dat i'm happily engage. so thank you very nice. coz if u even come to me last few months ago just to know me and get my number. i will still be this egoist. playing hard to get? maybe. i choose who i wanna be frens with. and u just a person
i see once awhile in da cafeteria.i wont label u as a fren. neva. trust me. sori. we're just collegues. werking in da same company.bah.

Anihoos.tanks to all those who came to my engagement day. and complimenting my pics. Mak andam and Cameraman did a great job. Else i wont be looking dat gorgeous.