Deep down i think i know how he feels. though all bad things had happened and still happening now, he will pray for her safety. no matter wad, tears and more phn calls being directed to him, he will still say NO. but i noe bapak means well. he does. but again its all boils down to ego and pride of a brother. Period.

Bt i was having another view if dad were to say YES. eventually, raya will be totally different tis yr. bt then again. knowing dad, he wont. so my hopes and dreams to have them all together. back together. happy together like 10 years ago, once again is just a dream that wont come true for now. y was i not surprised wen mak was thinkin da same as i was. mom and daughter. think alike..

now dat this fails. next will be on my bigday. if i cant have all. i would just love to have my boys around. together wid their partners. we all have grown up and not knowing who is who animore. things change, we change. we don even say HI anymore nor even smiles. If bapak objects to my decision, i guess i will walk around wid another solution to make this happen. my only request for my big day.

i hope she is doing fine there. with all da supervision by others. sorry he cant be der. he don wanna be der. but trust me. trust him. u are in his prayers. how bad things were, i noe bapak has a gd heart. its just how ppl manage his feelings. dats all...

Amin.