ive neva felt so down before. bt yesterday was the day. ending of Jan 2007. with tears and more sorrows in me. i quit. i gave up. i put a stop. for more searching of places. as i get more facts rite i was determined and sure that there is no way for me to find a place rite now for me and parents. the only way is to get a rented place from agent. bt there are more cost to pay.with 1K to 1.3K for a 3room flat was too much for me to take in. furthermore more advance payment and ofcoz payment for the agent.
my mood and esteem came tumbling down after lunch time. i was lacking of concentration to do my work. i was feelin down that i think i brought down many others along with me. im sorri. i didnt mean to. i was too sad to even smile. despite the purchased of the Good Vibration tix still i was no near to smiles. headed back home and had small portion for dinner. watched chinese drama and went to sleep. Workload still my main horror, i did not even bother to bring it home last nite. all i wanted was peace and quiet, alil privacy and blanket to cover my whole body just to cry by myself throughout the nite.
but yesterday was yesterday. today i woke up with a sudden determination to go on. no matter wat it takes. ive decided to keep trying. til there is no other way to resolve this. else. endurance for another 2 yrs plus til we get married and apply for our own place. where finally i will have my own space, and privacy with comfort of my husband and my beloved parents.
i started my day with a bright wide smile. gf got me a red nike shoes. and im much happier. determined to finish up the programme coding, prepare for training tmr and deploying the system. next tuesday hope to have a change. a change if i build my courage to meet the MP of Marsiling to seek some help. Seeking someone's help often gave me the reason to be more useless however law is law, rule is rule. there is nuthing much i can do. its nt beyond my powers to say the 1 word wonder.
Work for today til end of this week. At least I hope to have some fun this fri dat Far East Plaza. DJ Ruxta and MC Tech-one will be having a showcase. Hope to empty out the sadness and indulge my mind in music; scratching; juggling; freestyling.
Enuff said for now.
my mood and esteem came tumbling down after lunch time. i was lacking of concentration to do my work. i was feelin down that i think i brought down many others along with me. im sorri. i didnt mean to. i was too sad to even smile. despite the purchased of the Good Vibration tix still i was no near to smiles. headed back home and had small portion for dinner. watched chinese drama and went to sleep. Workload still my main horror, i did not even bother to bring it home last nite. all i wanted was peace and quiet, alil privacy and blanket to cover my whole body just to cry by myself throughout the nite.
but yesterday was yesterday. today i woke up with a sudden determination to go on. no matter wat it takes. ive decided to keep trying. til there is no other way to resolve this. else. endurance for another 2 yrs plus til we get married and apply for our own place. where finally i will have my own space, and privacy with comfort of my husband and my beloved parents.
i started my day with a bright wide smile. gf got me a red nike shoes. and im much happier. determined to finish up the programme coding, prepare for training tmr and deploying the system. next tuesday hope to have a change. a change if i build my courage to meet the MP of Marsiling to seek some help. Seeking someone's help often gave me the reason to be more useless however law is law, rule is rule. there is nuthing much i can do. its nt beyond my powers to say the 1 word wonder.
Work for today til end of this week. At least I hope to have some fun this fri dat Far East Plaza. DJ Ruxta and MC Tech-one will be having a showcase. Hope to empty out the sadness and indulge my mind in music; scratching; juggling; freestyling.
Enuff said for now.
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